Pause Pages: She Hates the Carseat Again, Postpartum Burnout, and Planning Keira’s First Birthday

a monthly care package of thoughts, faves, and little joys — plus some prompts for a little mom self-care woven into your day.

Welcome to the monthly roundup! Think of this as a little care package of all the things I’ve been loving, thinking about, and obsessing over lately — books, baby stuff, articles, and random life joys that deserve a shoutout. It’s also a time to pause, reflect, and nurture yourself — a little mom self-care woven into your day.

Hello from my patio writing desk!

I spend a lot of time at home, and as a homebody, I absolutely love that for me. I’ve worked hard to make our space feel like a cozy oasis, and it really does feel so good to be here.

However, as a mom, I can get a little stir-crazy. I enjoy getting out and about with Keira since her wake windows are getting longer. I want her to experience the world outside our four walls too.

The thing is… my 10-month-old is back in her “I-hate-the-carseat-and-will-straighten-my-tiny-body-and-cry-until-mom-overheats-in-the-parking-lot-and-gives-up” phase. I can’t even imagine how it will feel when it’s 100 degrees outside, and she’s rejecting the carseat. It’s going to be a challenge I’m not sure I’m ready for. Everything feels so much more intense when it’s an inferno outside.

So, I will drive places if it’s worth it, but it really feels like a two-person job to get her in the car. I’ve been trying to find random objects that catch her interest long enough to distract her so I can get her buckled in. I’ve chronicled my solo driving struggles on Instagram — watch here and here. But now we’ve entered a new level haha.

Anywho, Andrew finished work early today, so he’s got lil Kiwi, and I’ve got my snack plate with my backyard view. This is what I mean when I say it’s the little things. Sitting here, enjoying the view, eating my snack, and writing — this tiny moment is bringing me so much joy.

I’m a simple girl, really.

LOL.

June Intention: let my inner child go wild!

This month, I’m letting my inner child go wild n’ freee. I want to embrace the fun and creativity as I plan Keira’s first birthday. Since I really feel like being a mother means embracing play, creativity, and healing your inner child, it makes this party feel so much more than just a party. I’m having a lot of fun in the process.

I don’t have too much left to plan, but I really want to declutter, prepare our storage room (ahem, guest room) for family, and finally give up my credit card for all those fun things I want to order off Etsy. Honestly, this birthday is the perfect excuse to knock out things we’ve had on our to-do list for a while. And nothing motivates you to clean quite like knowing guests are coming over, haha.

I’m not exactly a crafty DIY person. I know this about myself. BUT IF I LOVE YOU, I’LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING. If you’d asked me a few years ago if I’d be throwing a big, themed birthday party for my one-year-old, I would’ve said, “Heck no.” But, I’m a changed woman. I’m so excited. She won’t remember it, but we will.

And we’re celebrating one year of being parents. One year of exclusively breastfeeding. One year of the WFH/SAHM dance. Throw whatever I want into this celebration because I’m celebrating the heck out of this milestone!

Want to see the inspo?

This is my Pinterest board. Gingham. Matcha-green. Blush pink. Bunnies. Flowers. So much cuteness.

I’ll definitely write up a birthday recap when all is said and done (after July).

💭 Prompts to Ponder:

• How can you invite more play and fun into your life this month, even in the midst of daily responsibilities?

• What’s something from your own childhood that you can reconnect with to heal and nurture your inner child?

• How can you honor your own joy and creativity as you nurture your little one?

Reflection: 10 months into motherhood

We are finally into the double digits. I’m not okay. Time isn’t real.

• Keira Updates: Solids is finally enjoyable. She is full-on standing, balancing sometimes with no hands! I’m trying to stay clutter-lite, and not buy things, but at the same time, I want her to have safe things to practice her climbing on. So, we moved our coffee table for now.

• Compared to last month’s 10/10 sleep… this month, I give it a 6/10. Haha, such an ebb and flow. There was one night she woke up 11 times. And thank goodness we bedshare or it would have felt so much worse. I don’t keep track at night, but I’m always curious to see what my Oura ring says in the morning… but hey it says I got 8 hours of sleep still?? Ha.

  

• It’s interesting how I often hear moms say they start to feel more like themselves around a year postpartum. For me, though, it’s been the opposite. I felt pretty good, aside from a couple of months with hyperthyroidism, all the way up until about 9 months. So recently, I’ve had more down days — days when I feel deeply burnt out, like it’s in my bones, and days when I feel like there is a hazy gloom over my energy. Lethargic, even. The protective, superpower hormones from postpartum are starting to wear off (or moreso return to pre-pregnancy levels), and now my body and brain are needing time to recalibrate. Probably also the compounding of broken sleep for over a year (I am counting third trimester in this bc… woof sleep was awful for me then.) I’m being gentle with myself knowing it ebbs and flows, and I’m communicating with Andrew on where/how I can use support. If you’re feeling the 9-month drop, you’re not alone! xx

🧠 Mom Brain Moment: Just another day of walking to the fridge, opening it, and forgetting what I was looking for... only to realize I actually needed socks.

Life Lately: things worth sharing

1. Keira’s really into busy boards. It’s the one “toy” that she will play with everyday multiple times a day. My mom got it for her first birthday technically, but she got it early and has loved it ever since. It’s from Busy Puzzle, a Ukranian company, and it’s super well-made. I can’t recommend it enough! We got the pastel rainbow color, and it’s beautiful. While I love neutrals, I’m not a sad beige mom either, haha. I may not have a house full of primary-colored toys, but gimme aallll the pretty pastels!!

2. I love pretending like my home is a cafe. Or my patio like mentioned earlier. If you’re looking for a solid not-sold-out matcha due to the matcha shortage, try this one! Small biz owner, and love her vibe. And if for some reason it’s sold out when you read this, I do recommend this one as a decent option that is usually in stock/accessible. I really miss Ippodo Sayaka though. 😭 It says it will restock in June. Here’s my current drink I make at home: 1 tsp of matcha powder whisked with some water warmed to 180 degrees. Blend it with 1 cup-ish of warmed coconut milk + a splash of maple syrup + 1 scoop of Needed collagen powder. Delish.

3. This reel makes me feel so seen. It’s the tiny little piles of randomness that weigh on us. It takes up precious brain space and energy, and it really has no business doing so. BUT what actually has helped is taking all of these odds and ends and tossing them into a “go-back” bin. Then, I hand it to my husband lol. Bye. More of these little tips and trick in this post below.

   Issue #18: 13 Little Things Making Motherhood Feel Really, Really Good

4. I splurged on this Lorna Murray hat in 2021, and it’s still one of my faves. It’s a vibe, IMO. Andrew said it’s a lampshade. But, a cool one. It blocks the sun so well, and it folds up easily for travels! I treated myself to a second hat (the Manhattan hat) for my LM collection, and I am in love.

5. My friend Chelsey (Author of The Mother Year), just launched her substack

   The Mother Years
   , and I can’t recommend it enough. Her words bring so much comfort and warmth, and her Substack is truly an extension of that. Send her book to the new or expecting mamas in your life!

✨ Got any topic requests or questions? Let me know in the comments!

See you next month, mamas!