Issue #25: Friendship, But Make It Postpartum
how my friendships and social life has changed — and what’s stayed beautifully the same
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This is the fourth and final part of the Alongside Motherhood mini series — a collection of honest reflections on how becoming a mother has reshaped not just who I am, but how I love, relate, and move through the world. The past few weeks, I’ve been exploring how this shift has touched everything — from identity and partnership to family and friendship… I hope you’ll find pieces of your own story here too.
Catch up on parts one through three below:
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Before having Keira, I saw my friends 3–4 times a week. I was constantly driving all over Austin, hopping between cafes and co-working days, squeezing in lunch dates and walk-and-talks. Catching up with friends while getting things done was just part of my weekly flow. Even at 36 weeks pregnant, I was still out and about.
That version of me really thrived on connection — but low-key, I was getting kind of tired of all the driving and secretly just wanted to hide under a rock some weeks. 😅
Once Keira was born, my social life came to a halt overnight. Though tbh, I kind of loved that for me. LOL.
Two things can be true: I adore my friends… and I want nothing more than to be a cozy homebody. Ahhh, the extroverted introvert conundrum.
Well, you know… having a newborn happens to be the excuse of all excuses!
I wasn’t sure how I’d feel postpartum (as I mentioned in last week’s letter), so I just told everyone I’d reach out when I was ready for visitors. Turns out, I wanted to see people way sooner than expected. Around two weeks postpartum, friends started stopping by for short visits. Some came in, some just did a quick food drop off!
When you’re in the thick of the newborn days, people show up in different ways... and some not much at all. With the latter, I’ve realized it’s not always a reflection of how much someone cares. Most of the time, it’s just that they truly don’t know what this season asks of you because they haven’t experienced it. They don’t know how intense those early weeks can feel or how meaningful a simple “thinking of you” text or a dropped-off meal can be.
It also made me reflect on the kind of friend I was before I became a mom. I didn’t show up for my new mom friends the way I wish I had. I just didn’t know what I didn’t know at the time.
So now that I do, I try to extend the same grace… and I really try to show up for my new mamas whether it’s food, hand-me-downs, a simple check-in… we’re all learning how to show up for each other in different seasons.
One year in… what’s changed?
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