Issue #28: What I've Learned in One Year of Motherhood

an essay-ish list of chatter, truths, and streams of consciousness

Birthday Banner from DesignLambArt on Etsy

I don’t even know if it’s possible to truly put into writing all I’ve learned/experienced this year, but I’m going to try my darndest for the sake of MeMoRiEs!! I’m so grateful to have this space to be able to share what’s on my mind and heart in real time, so that one day, when my baby is grown… I can look back and remember how I felt during these written snapshots in time. I also hope through sharing, anyone reading this feels seen or less alone in this wild ride.

Becoming a mom has been the biggest transformation of my life — I’ve never experienced a love so deep, a joy and happiness so bright and pure… it makes me giddy. I’ve also hit never-before-seen levels of exhaustion that make me wonder how I’m still upright (that 4–6 month leap was Brutal with a capital B). And healing from birth itself… hands down the most physical pain I’ve ever endured — though I’ll be forever grateful for that epidural.

It’s wild how much you go through in such a short period, how each new milestone throws you into uncharted territory, and why the idea of ever feeling “settled” feels almost laughable when things are constantly shifting. There’s no pause button, no moment to catch your breath before the next leap… it’s uncomfortable at times, but you get into a sort of groove with the unfamiliar. And somehow, amid all the curveballs, you do kind of “settle in” to this unexpected dance. You also realize you’re doing the best you can. And that, in itself, is something to be proud of.

So, here’s my list of things I’ve learned, realized, reflected on… an essay-ish list of chatter, truths, and streams of consciousness.