Issue #14: Some Days, I Really Miss the Girl Who Had Time to Couch Rot

I love being a mom. Still, I cried alone in the car the other day. A scrappy reflection on what I miss, what I love, and all the feelings in between.

Before our lives were forever changed! Sweet memories, but also when I look back at these photos, it feels like a little special someone is missing 🥹 Keira has made our lives so much more colorful. 🌈

It was one of those ideal Saturday mornings. The sun was out, the air felt fresh (not the sweltering inferno heat just yet), and we took a nice slow walk as a fam. I nursed Keira when we got home, then hopped in the car to head to my friend’s house. We’ve been working out together every Saturday for the past four months, which feels like such a win.

It’s only a 10-minute drive, and I was alone. No baby in the backseat. Just me, the open road, and a chance to ~ pick the playlist ~!!

I put on The Rose, one of my favorite Korean indie rock bands, and when “Back to Me” came on, I turned it up. Loud. I rocked out. I was also very mindful of my speed because your girl did accidentally get a speeding ticket recently. My first ticket ever. But I digress.

Mid-song, I didn’t expect it, but I actually started to tear up.

It caught me off guard... whyyyy am I all emotional right now?

In that moment, I realized how much I missed this.

It was the first time I had that feeling — missing a piece of my former self. It wasn’t regret or sadness.

The best way I can describe it was a quiet kind of homesickness. A longing for parts of my pre-baby life that feel far away right now.